Dear Gio,
This morning I left Jakarta before sunrise
The city still half asleep while I carried only one thought
To see you
Your mother had taken you to the doctor
I cannot remember if it was for a vaccine or for your circumcision
Only that my heart needed to be there with you
When I arrived you were resting in Eyang Tin’s arms
Breathing softly
Unaware of the world
Unaware of me
I held you and waited in silence
Minutes before the doctor called your name
Your eyelids trembled open
Slow blinks
Tiny eyes searching my face
As if asking
Who is this
Why does this face feel familiar
Why does it ache in my chest to see him
And then
Recognition
You knew me
Your father
You smiled
And in that quiet smile I felt something collapse and bloom all at once
Every mile I had flown
Every night I had missed you
Every prayer I had whispered in the dark
It was all here
In your small awakening
In the way you finally saw me
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